"Do you mind me asking" vs. "Do you mind my asking"?

Question

A: "I read your annual sales report, but it's missing some information.

B: "Oh, I didn't realize that. Do you mind my/me asking what exactly I missed?"

Should the correct response be "Do you mind my asking what exactly I missed?" or, "Do you mind me asking what exactly I missed?"

Which one is correct and why?

Apparently, both are: **if you don’t mind my saying so/if you don’t mind me asking** used when you are saying or asking something that you think might offend someone: _You’re looking tired, if you don’t mind my saying so. How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking?_ — Michael Login, Mar 10 '18 at 16:59
It isn't a duplicate because those answers do not explain the grammar in a form that is easily graspable. – — Lambie, Mar 10 '18 at 17:20
@Lambie: I'd say they *are* effectively the same question. If you think the original wasn't properly answered you should still vote to close this one, and post your answer there rather than here. — FumbleFingers, Mar 10 '18 at 17:55

score 1 · Answer 1 · answered Mar 10 '18 at 16:57

They mean the same thing.

Do you mind ||my asking|| what exactly I missed?

This may be parsed as: to mind something where a possessive and gerund noun is used, and it is a direct object;

Yes, I do mind ||his not asking me|| to the party. His not asking me was rude.

WHEREAS in:

Do you mind me ||asking|| what exactly I missed?

Yes, asking me that is rude.

The idiom here would be:

to mind [someone: indirect object] doing something.

In this case, the pronoun is indirect followed by a gerund noun.

There are, therefore, two ways to parse these usages.

1 Answers1